13 essential frightened rabbit

To some, music is a background; a simple nullification of the voidance to silence. To the other some, music is a passion; a collected series of human existence with song to fill that silence. To the few, music is a lifeline; that thread you desperately hold onto so that you do not fall into the void that the first some was seeking avoidance. 

Three groups of existence. Three groups of hope. Three desperate versions of us all at any moment in our lives. Sometimes we act through the cycle alternatively while other times we can be cyclical as we glance back at the person we once were.

Here we stand parading through mucky waters eager to stand at the place that we can currently only see. Unfortunately, we do not always react to our emotions when our head is held at its highest. Often it is when we are lying down that we are forced to react, and it is in those times that we are the most vulnerable.

Last week we lost another voice in music. Scott Hutchison, singer for the Scottish indie rock band Frightened Rabbit, fell victim to a lifelong battle with depression. His desperate grasp to life catalyzed by the lyrics in his music became a shielded passion for those that shared a similar pain. An onslaught of overwhelming but destructive emotion filled the songs from Hutchison who had slowly become one of the better lyricists of our time. Hearing these songs, and having a fairly reasonable sense to the message behind the music, I still find it a devastating surprise that one of his songs about self-harm were to eventually (and literally) come to be.

As someone who has struggled a good portion of my life with what I have recently learned to be mild forms of depression companioned with alternate episodes of anger I can somehow understand the place that he always said himself to be. Overcompensating my own reactions to life in each opposite direction have led me to a place, with help, that has finally given me a better way to steer my own path.

This Hutchison story has reminded me once again how far the ripple can travel when one gives in to their own self-destruction.

We all struggle. We all fall. We all succumb ourselves to our own version of self-mutilation.

Anger is not a curse.

Suicide is not cowardly.

Fear is not your co-pilot.

Depression is not a sign of the weak, it is born of hopelessness that can imagine no other way. It is a thick black cloud created by a cyclone of personal demons that prevents you from seeing any light.

People like Scott Hutchison, people like Chris Cornell, and people like Chester Bennington did the very best they could in the worst seconds of their lives. They were as brave and as strong and as selfless as they were able in that moment.

If you struggle with self-worth or anger or have consistent thoughts of harming yourself, please.. seek help, and you can start by going here, here, and here. Talk with someone. There is a better way.

In memoriam to the art and the life and the music of Scott Hutchison I have collected thirteen songs from Frightened Rabbit in which I have chosen to share.

I hope this memoir serves him well.

Cheers 🍻

13 | be less rude

sing the greys

12 | the modern leper

the midnight organ fight

11 | behave

sing the greys

10 | nitrous gas

pedestrian verse

9 | die like a rich boy

painting of a panic attack

8 | keep yourself warm

the midnight organ fight

7 | the loneliness and the scream

the winter of mixed drinks

6 | head rolls off

the midnight organ fight

5 | floating in the forth

the midnight organ fight

4 | holy

pedestrian verse

3 | my backwards walk

the midnight organ fight

2 | poke

the midnight organ fight

1 | old old fashioned

the midnight organ fight

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